Why I almost gave up on cycling.

As athletes, we live by numbers. We track watts, TSS, heart rate, and sleep scores. But for the last few months, my numbers were telling me to quit.

I’m a coach and the leader of Rollfast, but for a long time, I didn’t feel like either. I felt like a passenger in a body that had decided to stop cooperating. Between a persistent infection, the heavy toll of antibiotics, and a system that felt “wrecked,” I watched my power numbers slide backward.

It wasn’t a lack of effort. I was doing the work. But like a weightlifter who suddenly can’t move the plates they used to warm up with, the measurability of my decline was soul-crushing. It’s one thing to be out of shape; it’s another to feel your body fundamentally failing you. I started to wonder if I was just done.

The Mental Collapse

The hardest part wasn’t the group rides—I’ve been around long enough to know how to hide in a pack and ride smart. The real battle happened in the “darkness” of my solo workouts.

Lowering training zones. Cutting intervals short. Watching the clock. Everything felt like it was closing in. When you’re dealing with chronic setbacks—whether it’s gut issues, back pain, or injury—it starts to feel permanent. You start to believe that “this is just who I am now.” I was ready to walk away because I didn’t recognize the rider I saw on my computer screen anymore.

The Turning Point: The Causeway

The shift happened last Tuesday.

My good bike was in the shop, so I dusted off my old one and headed to the Courtney Campbell Causeway. No distractions, just the road and the wind.

For the first time in what felt like forever, the intervals clicked. I didn’t just finish the workout; I felt myself getting stronger as it progressed. I repeated it Wednesday. On Thursday, I tackled a VO2 session that had chewed up other riders the week before—and I crushed it.

By Sunday’s PAG ride, I wasn’t just “blending in” anymore. I was putting in efforts that had the group talking afterward. The engine wasn’t gone; it just needed the right support to restart.

You Can’t Do It Alone

I am only standing here because I stopped trying to “tough it out” and leaned on my circle:

• Matt Breeden (Rollfast Coach): In the past, I’ve had coaches who disappeared the moment I got “broken,” only to resurface when I was healthy again. Matt did the opposite. He stayed engaged, listened to the hard stuff, and coached me through the struggle, not just through the success.
• Chris Tanner (Rollfast Longevity Consultant): Chris is the reason I looked beyond standard protocols. Her expertise in peptides and longevity strategies gave my body the tools it needed to heal when traditional medicine hit a wall. Without her, the physical and mental toll would have been unbearable.

The Mission

I’m sharing this because I know some of you are in that “darkness” right now. You’re looking at your bike and feeling like the person you were a year ago is gone forever. You’ve thought about giving up, too.

At Rollfast, we don’t just coach the athlete you want to be; we coach the one you are today—even if that person feels broken. Whether you’re fighting a plateau, an injury, or a loss of identity on the bike, you shouldn’t have to navigate that path alone. We’ve built a team of experts—from elite performance coaching with Matt Breeden to longevity and recovery strategies with Chris Tanner—specifically to help you find your way back to the front of the pack.

Stop waiting for “someday” to get healthy. Let’s start rebuilding today.